its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
