all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
