Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I can't turn off my feet"
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
