I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
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