White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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