Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
