that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Panties = found
Randomize
