Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
