lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
