six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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