hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
