Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
