I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
smell my finger.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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