Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
