New invention idea: vibrating tampons
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
