he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
