you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
