I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize