did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
