i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Drunk is a universal language darling
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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