Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
