I CAN MOONWALK!
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize