Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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