someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
