Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize