Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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