I accidentally had phone sex last night
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Less talking, more tequila
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
