I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
