my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
honey bunches of taint.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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