break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
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