I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize