i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
They are going to name an STD after you.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
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