The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Randomize