So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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