I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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