Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
