I want to make a zoo with you.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
