just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Did you just see the Batmobile???
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
