i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
don't judge my taste in strippers
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
