I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
A bitchslap is in order.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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