she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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