you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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