I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
