he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
