Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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