i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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