So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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