Don't make out with my wife yet
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
