I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
