Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
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