no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
