never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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