It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
this must be what syphilis tastes like
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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