According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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