I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
