Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
