:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
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