I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
