i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
