i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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