we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
