The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
