the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
