You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Randomize
