Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
