dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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