I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
