Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(916): View more from California

He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.

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(361): View more from Texas

As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.

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(410): View more from Maryland

Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything

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(409): View more from Texas

Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.

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(503): View more from Oregon

Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.

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(743): View more from

Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.

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(+61): View more from Australia

I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already

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