How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
