Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Randomize
