told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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