I feel great
I just peed on a car
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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