No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
