Please, let me fuck your mom
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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