Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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