This is not my ceiling
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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