Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Randomize
